Boring book

Natasha, a blonde,  entered the library and said to the person in charge, "This book is boring. No tale and just too many characters."

The person in charge said, "No wonder I was looking for the telephone directory all day."

Lost business

Betty-Boo, the chubby blonde, was talking to her old friend Lisa Ray.

She complained, "You know I am on the road a lot. My business depends on fabric samples that my customers courier to me, based on which I proceed with outsourcing of finished garments. But because of my travel, the couriers don't reach me."

Lisa Ray asked her, "So did you try to do something about it?"

"Yes" replied Betty-Boo. "I put a box in my car."

"A box??? How does it help?"

Betty-Boo said, "I don't know as yet. I haven't received any couriers so far."

Lisa Ray asked, "And what is the reason for it?"

Betty Boo answered, "Guess when I am on the move, my zip code keeps changing."

Blondie's troubles

Blondie was at Marvin's Door & Windows showroom having an argument with the salesman.

She said, "Just six months back, I converted into a green home by replacing all my windows with those pricey energy efficient ones that you convinced me to take. And now, I receive a notice from you that I have not paid for the windows!!"

The salesman said, "That's absolutely right, mam."

Blondie said, "Do you think I am stupid? Didn't you claim that the windows would pay for themselves in 6 months."

Blonde jokes-Vac

Deborah, the busty blonde who was on vacation, sent home a postcard.

She writes: Hi folks, me having a great time. Where am I?

Really funny jokes-Blonde with new boat

Betty, a 28-year-old blonde, fulfilled her dream of owning a boat when she purchased one in the summer. So, one afternoon, she was all set to try out her brand new motorboat. But there was a problem - the motorboat would barely perform. She tried everything, checked the mechanisms again, but the boat failed to function properly.

She tried again the next day and the day after that, but the motorboat would only splutter and strain but not pick up speed. She saw some fishermen and thought of asking them for help. She hoped that they would help identify the problem.

A fisherman called Ted inspected the boat and confirmed that the engine and out drive seemed to be in order. Ted then jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for any problems. What he saw made him laugh so hard, he came up choking and gasping for air. When the other fishermen asked him what was so funny, he replied, "The trailer is still attached to the boat!"

Really funny jokes-Reliability of birth control pills

A blonde couple - Brenda and her husband, Joe go to their pharmacist and begin to ask questions like if the pharmacy checks for medications past their expiration date and the reliability of a certain manufacturer that makes birth control pills. After answering their queries, the pharmacist asks them what is wrong. Brenda explains, "I have been using birth control pills and despite that, I continue to get pregnant."

The pharmacist is astonished and asks Brenda if she takes the pills every day.

Brenda replies, "My husband Joe takes them every day."

"Why???" the pharmacist looks questioningly at the blonde couple.

"Oh, after we read all those possible side-effects, Joe offered 'Listen honey... I don't want you taking that stuff.. it's too dangerous.....let ME take them.' "

Hilarious jokes-Civil War

Jany, a blonde tourist, could not resist asking it any more, so she questioned the guide, "Give me a good reason why so many of the famous Civil War battles had to be fought on National Park Sites?"

Hilarious jokes-Poker

A world-renowned heart-surgeon and poker pro and a blonde cocktail waitress are sitting next to each other in a $1-2 NL cash game at the MGM in Las Vegas. The surgeon is upset as the blonde keeps winning big pots from him despite it being the first time she's ever played poker.

He suggests they play a prop bet where they ask each other questions; if they don't know the answer to the question; they have to pay the other person. She asks him how she's supposed to compete with a smart, world-renowned surgeon, as she's just a simple cocktail waitress. Eager to make her look stupid, he offers her odds, so that she has to pay him $5 for every time he stumps her, but he'll pay her $50 each time she stumps him. She agrees.

He asks her what the capital of Paraguay is and she shrugs and flips him a red $5 chip.

Her question for him is: "What rises in the evening, sleeps in the morning, and has twice as many brothers as sisters?"

He thinks and thinks and thinks, getting more frustrated, then whips out his iPhone, calls his friends, and finally checks the Internet for an answer. He finally gives up and shoves $50 in chips over to her.

"Well," he angrily demands, "what's the answer?"

She shrugs and flips him another $5 chip.

Blonde jokes-See a dollar

Superman, Santa Clause, and a blonde are walking along and see a dollar lying on the sidewalk.
Who picks it up first?

The blonde, because the other two don't exist!

Blonde jokes-Dollar on the sidewalk

Superman, Santa Clause, and a blonde are walking along and see a dollar lying on the sidewalk.

Who picks it up first?

The blonde, because the other two don't exist!

Blonde jokes-Four corners

There is a big room with four corners. In the first corner, you find Superman. In the second corner you find Batman. In the third corner you find Spiderman. And in the fourth corner you find a gorgeous, extremely intelligent, 100% natural blonde woman with a ultra-thin magazine-model figure. In the center of the room there is a pot of gold. Who gets to the pot of gold first?

A: None, because none of these characters exist.

Blonde jokes-Horrific car accident

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.

"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"

"Yes officer, I'm just fine!" the blonde chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ..."

"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off. "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth".

Celebrity jokes-Hair color

Q: Why did Anna Nicole Smith change her hair color from blonde to red?

A: Because red is easier to spell!

Really funny jokes-Blonde stewardess

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

Blonde jokes-Ice hockey team

Q: What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?

A: They drowned in Spring training.

Blonde jokes-Head and shoulders

There was a blonde and a brunette in an elevator. On their way down, they stop to pick up another person also on their way down. When the person got on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute. Unfortunately he had dandruff. Finally, on the way off of the elevator the two girls let the guy go ahead of them.

The brunette turns to the blonde and says "Oh my god! We need to give him Head and Shoulders."

The blonde then replies "That's a pretty good idea, but how are we going to give him shoulders?"

Blonde jokes-Red Magic Marker

Q: Why do blonde nurses carry a red Magic Marker?

A: In case they have to draw blood.

Blonde jokes-Limo

What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?

Not everybody has been in a limo.

Blonde jokes-Tilt steering

Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?

A. More headroom

Blonde jokes-State capitals

Well, there was this blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. So one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,

"I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do...I memorized all the state capitals."

One of the guys, of course, said "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?"

"N", she answered.