Passwords

R&D by the Indian lovers' association says that only 7% of people in love become life partners. The remaining end up as passwords!

Poem and essay

Johnny: What is the difference between a poem and an essay?

Barry: Even a word uttered by one's lover is like a poem while just one word uttered by one's wife is like an essay.

Open a book

Tom, while scolding his son, said, "Why don't I ever see you study? Never seen you open a book."

The teen replied, "I do open a book every day."

Tom asked, "And which one is that??"

The teen said, "Facebook!"

One sided love

Billy said to his friend, "What is your view on one-sided love?"

Joey says, "I think I would prefer it over both-sided love. When love is on both sides, sometimes it culminates into marriage!" 

Redemption

Albert prayed to God, "Oh Almighty! I have sinned. I want redemption. Please give me sorrow & pain, give me troubles, let me be haunted by spirits."

God boomed, "Cut it short, mate. Why don't you just say you want a wife!"

Dangerous events

An aspirant who wanted to participate in a Daredevilry event was asked by the selection committee, "Do you taken part in any dangerous events?"

Johnny, the aspirant, replied, "Yep. I do not agree with my wife on some occasions."

Funniest jokes-Husband's decision

Anita shouts angrily at her husband Phil, "I want you to decide what do you want in your life - Whatsapp or me?"

Phil replies calmly, "Certainly Whatsapp. If I must waste time, might as well do with everyone. Why should I do it only with you?"

All kinds

Tom says to his wife, "What kind of food have you cooked? This tastes like sh*t!"

Sandra mutters to herself, "Oh God, this man has tasted everything in life."

Online joke-Nuptial services

I was wondering if Amazon would be interested in starting nuptial services. I have no doubt that they will become the Numero Uno online portal in the world given that they have a one month return policy. No questions asked!

Knock Knock joke-Caller

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Caller.
Caller who?
Caller on her cellphone.

Knock knock joke-Command

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Command.
Command who?
Command get me!

Anniversary joke-Memorable night

Bubba asked his wife, "It's our anniversary, my love. Tomorrow we complete 3 years of our marriage. Tell me sweetheart, in these 3 years, which night was the most memorable for you?"

Rosy replied, "The night you went out of town."

Mother-in-law joke-Faulty product

Jose was so tired of his wife's constant nagging that he sent a mail to his Mother-in-law.

His mail read like this:
You product is a faulty piece. It has several technical faults which were not informed to me at the time of delivery. I demand that this faulty piece be taken back and I be given an exchange.

The Mother-in-law shot back a message to Jose:

• The product is no longer under Warranty
• There is no policy for refund or exchange
• It is in your hands to enhance the performance of the product
• The Rules & Regulations, of using the product were informed to you at the time of exchanging vows
• The Company no longer makes new products anyways
• You are thereby advised to "Handle with care" 

Santa joke-A plumber can save you!

When Santa Singh went to appear for his exams, he asked a plumber to accompany him.

Intrigued by the plumber's presence, a classmate asked him, "Why did you get a plumber with you?"

Santa Singh's answer made everyone laugh in the class, "Because I heard the paper has leaked."

Interview joke-Spelling

Fred was asked in an interview, "Spell out a word which has more than 15 letters in it."

Fred's reply was quick, "P-O-S-T-O-F-F-I-C-E-L-E-T-T-E-R-B-O-X"

Boyfriend joke-Trust

Nuria said to her boyfriend who was going on a road trip with his friends "I trust you Alex. Just remember one thing, my trust and your bones with break together."

Santa's aspiration

God appears in front of Santa Singh of India and says, "Tell me son. What do you aspire for?"

Santa Singh says, "All I want is a job, a room full of cash, and respite from this heat."

"So be it!", says God.

Santa Singh is not employed as a security guard of a Bank's ATM.


Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Fortune teller

The fortune teller tells young John, "Son, I can see that there is a lot of studying in your future."

John says, "Listen Mr. Fortune teller, I am already studying a lot since the past 3 years. What I really need to know is when will I pass my exams!"

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Latvian joke

Boka: I had a typical Latvian meal today at a friend's place.

Poka: Really? What were you served?

Boka: Nothing!

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net

Punny jokes - Thrown out

I still can't digest the fact that I was thrown out of a Calendar company!

What did I do? I just took a week off.

Source: www.reallyshortfunnyjokes.net